Why rest feels impossible with ADHD

 

I often know when burnout is appraoching because I can't stop doing things. It's not always physical things (I have never really related to the trait of feeling like I'm powered by a motor that you see in ADHD screening questionnaires), but it's an intense feeling of not being able to switch my brain off. 

 

I'm no longer on Instagram or Facebook because I would spend SO much time scrolling through endless content, but I know when I'm about to hit a wall when I can't stop scrolling the news, things that are not important on Reddit, random rabbit holes of information that I'll never remember. 

 

In my last post, I talked about momentum and how the Default Mode Network (DMN) and the Positive Task Network (TPN) can operate differently if you're neurodivergent. As well as momentum and motivation, our DMN and TPN can also impact how easily (or not) we're able to rest. Just as we sometimes have to find strategies to help us get into 'task mode', switching back to 'rest mode' can be just as hard. 

 

What's happening in our brains

 

For many of us with ADHD/AuDHD, the brain doesn't automatically stop being in work mode. It stays on, scanning for threats or next steps, even when we're trying to do nothing. For me, I know when I haven't switched off because my body feels like it's vibrating, even when I've stopped what I'm doing. This might be why you can sometimes feel like you're really anxious even when there's no obvious cause. 

 

Your brain is likely waiting for a cue to flip the see-saw from TPN to DMN, back into it's relaxed, reflective state, but that cue doesn't always arrive. So, instead of resting, we carry on trying to work, we clean, we endlessly faff with anything and everything to keep our brain busy until it finally crashes. 

 

This is also why we often turn to screens when we're exhausted. If our brain can't easily slip into the DMN to let us rest and daydream again, it's still looking for external input to occupy that space. Scrolling through feeds or falling down Reddit rabbit holes (I know it's not just me!) provides quick bursts of novelty that our brain likes because it distracts us from feeling uncomfortable or anxious about being stuck. 

 

And sometimes, we might want that time to scroll, or perhaps it's part of our transition or reward strategies so of course, that's absolutely okay. But if it isn't and it's feeding into that cycle of anxiety, then we can look at ideas to help us to back to a more gentle space. 

 

As I talked about in my post about momentum, this isn't about willpower. It's about our brains looking to manually adjust something that can sometimes get stuck because when we repeat these cycles too often, we end up using so much of our energy and we're more likely to experience burnout. 

 

Ideas to help rest feel easier

 

Resting and reducing burnout is complex and will look different for each of us but here are some gentle ideas if rest is something that you sometimes find difficult.

 

  • Name it. As I mentioned in my last post, understanding and naming what's happening out loud to yourself can help your brain back to the focus you want

 

  • Ground your senses by doing doing something tactile with your hands like gardening, knitting, a puzzle, cooking. This can help to bring your senses back into the present and out of potential ruminating loops that our brains like to try and keep us in

 

  • Gentle movement to help reset how stimulated you feel. Things like walking or stretching can help to signal to your brain that it's okay to relax

 

  • Find the balance between too much and too little. When we try to rest with no stimulation at all, this can often cause us to sit and ruminate, leaving us alone with racing thoughts and that's not fun. Low level sensory input such as music, an calming audiobook, soft lighting can help to calm the nervous system here

 

  • Create gentle transitions between activities to give your brain a specific signal that it's time to do something else now.

 

Leaning into different types of rest

 

Something I sometimes share with my coaching clients is from Dr. Saundra Daulton-Smith who shares that the idea that there are '7 different types of rest' and that we need all of them at different times to fulfill our needs. I personally use this a kind of menu when I know that I need to take myself out of whatever thoughts are not helpful and back into a kinder space for myself. 

 

Learning what works for us can help us to manage our energy is a much gentler way. I put together some of these ideas in my short workbook and guide - Managing your Energy - which is free to download here if that's something that would be helpful for you. 

 

And if you might be looking for a space to explore working in a more sustainable way for you, you can read more about what ADHD career coaching with me looks like here. 

 

Further reading and sources

 

I learned more about states of rest in this study - Sidlauskaite et al (2016) Default mode network abnormalities during state switching in attention deficit hyperactivity disorder in Psychological Medicine. 

 

Just to note that I don't love the deficit framing of ADHD/AuDHD in medical journals but I'm also mindful that I'm not a neuroscientist and I want to be careful that I'm sharing information that is backed by science. So, sometimes we need the medical models, but you know, with nuance.