Getting things done can be really hard as an AuDHDer. We often want to do everything at once, we might want everything to be perfect first time and it can feel like everything has the same level of importance. The pull between perfectionsim and procrastination can be absolutely exhausting.
In this post, I wanted to share some of the ways that I get things done and how I've changed the way that I do things so that I'm able to work in a better way for me. This is in no way a list of things that will work for everyone, but just some of the ideas I've collected over the years that I hope might resonate with others.
So, in no particular order, here are some of the ways I keep myself on track (acknowledging that I work for myself and don’t have to answer to lots of people, though that does bring its own challenges!)
Turned off nearly all notifications on my phone
I don't have any notifications for emails, apps, news or anything else that means I'm using energy that could be better spent on other things. This is partly so that I'm not distracted but also means I'm not spending so much time in my phone. I read my emails when I'm ready to answer them, and the only notifications that I keep switched on are calls and messages. I mute WhatsApp groups that are very busy and pop in when I have the energy to chat.
This doesn't mean that I'm not prone to the odd rabbit hole scroll but I'm just a bit more mindful about what I'm doing with my time. It's also one of the indicators for me that burnout might be approaching, if I find myself scrolling a lot more than usual and if I'm able to catch that, I can try to support myself in a different way.
Simplified my to do lists
I have tried every app, productivity hack and notebook out there. And I found that they work for a while and then I get bored, or it feels like a full time job trying to manage the ‘admin’ of it all. What I've found works best for me is to keep things as simple as possible.
Meetings go straight into my calendar, along with any hard work deadlines.
I use a paper notebook for ideas, brain dumps and general planning. I then have ONE to do list, a digital post it note which sits on my desktop screen so I can see it every day. I limit myself to 3 - 4 things to do each day as I know that anything more than that realistically isn't getting done.
When I first started doing this, I used the 1-2-3 method which can help to be more realistic about how much to do in a day. You start with 1 thing that you must do, 2 things that you will aim to do and 3 things that would be nice to do. This helped me to whittle down a huge to do list and start to recognise different levels of importance.
I'm also aware that I am very forgetful so my last tool is the Notes app on my phone to remember things that come to me at random times (usually when I'm walking the dog).
Planning and doing in shorter bursts
As well as simplifying my to do lists, I only plan about a month ahead. This stops me from spending loads of time doing things that I’m going to be bored of later down the line, like writing loads of posts that I then don't want to post or working on things that don't end up moving forward.
It's also a way of making progress without the fear of perfectionism creeping in. I do small amounts of things, then adjust and update as needed. An example might be writing a blog po. Instead of telling myself that I'm going to write a whole blog post in one go which can feel overwhelming, I might start with bullet points, or an hour of research until it feels clearer.
It's the sprinter vs. marathon way of working, and so far, it's working much better for me.
Working with my energy instead of my time
When I plan my week, I colour code everything. Admin is pink, coaching is yellow, anything that I have to do outside of the house is orange, rest time is purple. It helps me to visualise what my week looks like otherwise everything just blends into one long thing.
I'm also mindful of the times that I'm working so I know that I have the most energy in the morning until early afternoon and I try to plan my day with that in mind.
I know that coaching and face to face workshops are going to use a lot of energy so if my week looks especially yellow or orange, I need to then factor in some more rest time. Or, if I'm having a tough day, it can help to look back and realise why I might be feeling extra tired, and think about things I can do to refill my cup.
Flexible routine
This kind of goes with the energy planning but it's one I've had to work on as finding the right routine is something that can feel really hard. ADHD me wants to do new, interesting things and autistic me wants the world's most structured routine. So, it feels like a fight all the time.
I'm now at a place where I give myself a flexible routine and kind of 'theme' my days which also helps with reducing the transition between tasks. I roughly block out two days for writing, planning or admin, I have two coaching/consulting days per week and then a day where I finish things off, or rest if I need to. Having a general structure is helpful but it's not so rigid that it stifles me.
Sleep
I think it's really easy to only think about the very practical things that we do to help us move forward but one of the biggest things for me has been to try to manage my sleep better. It's always a work in progress as there are still nights where my brain just won't stop whirring away, but it's a lot better than it was.
Some things I've changed include leaving my phone in a different room and using a Lumie light (I have this one and I love it), reading in bed and trying to stick to the same bedtime and wake up times. Sometimes it works, sometimes it just doesn't and on those days all I can do is try to give myself some grace that things might feel harder.
Coming back to things if I'm not ready to process yet
Sometimes I need a lot more time to process than I realise. If I'm stuck on something, maybe I need to sit with it for a while and allow my brain to process and then suddenly, things will clear and I'll know what to do next. This is a really different way of working for me coming from a fast paced corporate environment where you need to have the answers to everything in seconds and I'm really enjoying a slower pace and the time to really think.
Doing an easy thing first
Traditional productivity advice like ‘eat the frog’ just doesn't work for me. If I try to do the hardest thing first, all that happens is that I'll sit there all day not doing it. I try to start each day with something that I enjoy, or something that's easy. It gives me a quick win, a little dopamine hit and that's usually enough to then spur me on to do the thing that feels harder.
Menus for everything
This is all about understanding my needs and giving myself options depending on the situation. So, I give myself a menu of options in terms of what I want to write about or work on each week.
I have a reward menu to choose from when I finish a task which includes things like going for a walk, rewatching an episode of a favourite show, listening to my favourite song, having a snack, half an hour of reading. I also have a menu of things to help me rest so this might include traditional rest like a nap, but also things like writing for pleasure, drawing, sewing, doing a puzzle, being out in nature.
Being kinder to myself
And this is the one that makes the most difference. Because sometimes, even with the best plans, the best routine, changing things so they work for me - things are still hard.
Sometimes I don't get any of the things done that are on my list that day. Sometimes I say the wrong things and find myself in a rejection sensitivity spiral. Sometimes I feel frustrated that I can only manage about 4 hours work a day before I feel exhausted. Sometimes I feel so anxious that I can't leave the house.
And in those times now, I'm nicer to myself. I try to get enough rest. I focus on my needs and not on the things I think I ‘should’ be doing. I set boundaries and try to stick to them. I lean into being as much ‘me’ as I can be.
More support this way
If any of these themes resonated and you think you might benefit from ADHD/AuDHD coaching, you can find out more at the link below and get in touch to chat further.